The Need Before Us - Bonnie L. Oscarson

The Needs before Us

By Bonnie L. Oscarson   Young Women General President

(The words in red are my thoughts on the the talk given and are my opinion only. The highlights are mine as well. Take your thoughts and impression to the Lord for confirmation. The Holy Spirit is the real teacher.)

Some of the most significant needs we can meet are within our own families, among our friends, in our wards, and in our communities. With all that is going on in the world, this shift where we focus our “significant” efforts is important. Remember the Proclamation on the Family warns that ‘the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.’ If everyone focused their consistent efforts on their immediate surroundings, and reached out with bursts of help when disasters strike, then all would be taken care of all the time. Sometimes we just focus on the disaster aid and remain self-focused in between.

In recent days we have witnessed a large number of natural disasters, in Mexico, the United States, Asia, the Caribbean, and Africa. It has brought out the best I am a firm believer that one of the ways God uses natural disasters for His purposes is for this very reason. It brings out the best in most people. Without these disasters, sometimes ‘the best’ stays hidden within us. As the tribulations come upon us, we will see “the great day of unity” spoken of by Pres. Eyring in his first talk as a member of the First Presidency when Pres. Monson was called. He said, “I bear you my solemn witness that the unity we now experience will increase.” I had the strong impression that the unity which he saw would come as we had opportunity after opportunity to respond to increasing disasters. The unity we feel that will have the greatest effect will be how we respond to those right around us…not those who help from far away, or even come in from far away, wonderful as that is. in people as thousands have stepped in to help those who are in danger or need and who have suffered loss. I have been thrilled to see young women in Texas and Florida who, along with many others, have donned the yellow Helping Hands T-shirts and are helping clear houses of debris following the recent hurricanes. Many thousands more would gladly go to the centers of need were it not for distance. Instead, you have offered generous donations to alleviate suffering. Your generosity and compassion are inspiring and . It’s still important that we are generous in our donations to those in need far away from us. Imagine if everyone in the world with first world standard of living gave just one dollar when a disaster broke out. In the matter of minutes there would be millions of dollars of aid available just from the US and the UK you could have 400 million dollars if everyone just gave $1. Sometimes I think if I don’t give $100, it won’t help, so millions give nothing (if they think like me). For this reason and to respond to the prophets call to increase donations in 2013, I give $1 to every other category after fast offering on my tithing slip each month. (See my blog on this here)

Today I want to mention an aspect of service that I feel is important for all—no matter where we are located. For those of us who have watched news of recent events and have felt helpless to know what to do, the answer might actually be right before us. This response does not require money…just time and attention.

The Savior taught, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.”1 President Thomas S. Monson said of this scripture: “I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. It is important to continually check what the purpose of our life is. Are we living in line with that purpose? Will our choices bring about that purpose?Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.”2

We live in a culture remember that ‘culture’ is created by us, not a mandated, unalterable state of being where more and more we are focused on the small, little screen in our hands than we are on the people around us. We have to change this. If we don’t choose it, then we’ll lose it. God will take away those handy little screens and then we’ll wonder how we ever got so distracted by them when we see what we lost by having them. We have substituted texting and tweeting for actually looking someone in the eye and smiling or, even rarer, having a face-to-face conversation. We are often more concerned with how many followers and likes we have than with putting an arm around a friend and showing love, concern, and tangible interest. I gave up my facebook page a year or so ago. I have one, so I can link to certain business pages, but if you find me there as a friend you’ll see a message inviting you to connect with me in person or by phone:) I’ve been tempted to get rid of texting to, so I’d be forced to call people and have them call me. I haven’t been brave enough to do that yet…As amazing as modern technology can be for spreading the message of the gospel is that how we are using technology? I know the Church is…of Jesus Christ and helping us stay connected to family and friends,this is what we claim we are using it for… if we are not vigilant “wary; awake; alert” in how we use our personal devices, we too can begin to turn inward and forget that the essence “core; absolutely essential; critical; crucial”  of living the gospel is service. “SERVICE with a capital “S” – Sharing a burden and making it less…” (Did your kids grow up with BRITE Music? Mine did…)

I have tremendous love for and faith in those of you who are in your teen and young adult years. I have seen and felt of your desires to serve and make a difference in the world. I believe that most members consider service to be at the heart of their covenants and discipleship. Is Service at the heart of YOUR covenants and discipleship?  But I also think that sometimes it’s easy to miss some of the greatest opportunities to serve others because we are distracted I’m going to track how many times the word “Distraction” comes up this conference. I think it’s a lot or because we are looking for ambitious ways to change the world are we checking our ego/pride when we look for ‘big’ ways to ‘change the world’? and we don’t see that some of the most significant needs we can meet are within our own families, among our friends, in our wards, and in our communities. We are touched when we see the suffering and great needs of those halfway around the world, but we may fail to see there is a person who needs our friendship sitting right next to us in class. I don’t think this is an “either/or” situation. Sometimes we do that…we make a donation and then don’t look at home. I don’t think she’s suggesting we look at home and don’t make donations…just don’t ignore what is needful right around you while feeling satisfied with your service because you wrote out a check or even gave a chunk of time once in a while.

Sister Linda K. Burton told the story of a stake Relief Society president who, working with others, collected quilts for people in need during the 1990s. “She and her daughter drove a truck filled with those quilts from London to Kosovo. On her journey home she received an unmistakable spiritual impression that sank deep into her heart. The impression was this: ‘What you have done is a very good thing. Now go home, walk across the street, and serve your neighbor!’”3 This is a case of not just ‘good/better/best’ but good AND better or better AND best.

What good does it do to save the world if we neglect the needs of those closest to us and those whom we love the most? How much value is there in fixing the world if the people around us are falling apart and we don’t notice? Heavenly Father may have placed those who need us closest to us, knowing that we are best suited to meet their needs. This is such a great point. How we feel such a pull to help the people suffering hundreds of miles away and feel powerless to make a difference right where we are? I think, for me, it’s the feeling of a “quick fix”. Right? I mean, write out a check and you’ve “made a difference” for real needs. Food and shelter and clothing are immediate needs when we lack them, but they do nothing to heal broken families and feelings of doubt or worthlessness. Those even more important needs can only be met by those closest to us.

Everyone can find ways to offer Christlike service. Don’t look to justify or make excuses why you can’t serve as Christ did…My counselor Sister Carol F. McConkie recently told me about her 10-year-old granddaughter Sarah who, when she realized that her mother was ill, decided on her own to be of help. She got her little sister up, helped her dress, brush her teeth, fix her hair, and eat breakfast so her mother could rest. She quietly performed this simple act of service without being asked because she saw a need and desired to help. Notice ‘quietly’…’simple’…’without being asked’…’saw’….’desired’…Not only did Sarah bless her mother, but I am sure that she also felt joy in knowing she had lightened the burden of someone she loved and, along the way, strengthened her relationship with her sister. President James E. Faust said: “Serving others can begin at almost any age. … It need not be on a grand scale, and it is noblest within the family.”4 what you do may not seem grand, but it is among the grandest things you can do!

Do you children realize how much it means to your parents and family members when you look for ways to serve at home? First observe…then feel compassion…then serve. Oh how parents LOVE it when their kids serve without being asked! For those in your teen years, strengthening and serving your family members should be among your top priorities as you look for ways to change the world. We have to see strengthening our families as our TOP PRIORITY in our effort to ‘change the world’. It’s not your career, or your inventing the iphone that really changes the world…while those things can and do have great influence, is it the most important influence? No…all those people who we credit with ‘changing the world’ were children first. It was their home that first shaped them, before they went and ‘changed the world’. Don’t ever discount that first influence! Showing kindness and concern for your siblings and parents helps create an atmosphere of unity We need to be comfortable with ‘unity’ for ‘if we are not one, we are not His’ and invites the Spirit into the home. Think of the difference between and home WITH the Spirit and one WITHOUT the Spirit. There is no comparison! Changing the world begins with strengthening your own family. BEGINS! You can’t skip this step. If you do…you change the world in negative ways. The people who grow up to start wars also began as children…

Another area of focus for our service can be in our ward families. Occasionally our children would ask us the question, “Why do I have to go to Mutual? I just don’t get very much out of it.”

If I was having a good parenting moment, I would reply, “What makes you think you go to Mutual because of what you get out of it?” I have heard this a few times… “church is boring; I don’t learn anything; I’m not being fed what I’m ready for…” We live in such a consumer-driven society. We’re so used to fast food and on-demand tv and access to information immediately. This is the part of the natural man we must ‘put off’. We must learn to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit to turn outward, to give, to look for ways to lift and love.

My young friends, I can guarantee don’t think your ward is the exception. Just ask your Bishop or Relief Society President… they’ll tell you that ‘all is not well in Zion’…that there will always be someone at every Church meeting you attend who is lonely, who is going through challenges and needs a friend, or who feels like he or she doesn’t belong. You have something important to contribute to every meeting or activity, and the Lord desires for you to look around at your peers and then minister as He would. Sometimes we don’t serve like this because we are the one that is lonely, going through a challenge, need a friend, or don’t feel we belong…so we wait for someone to hear this conference talk and come find us. But I think you’ll hear it taught that that is exactly when we need to get out of ourselves to reach out to someone else. To me, Zion is a place where everyone’s needs are met, not by asking or waiting for what you need, but by everyone trusting their needs will be met, so they just go about meeting others needs. I have experienced a bit of this kind of giving here and there in my life and it is truly heaven. But it only happens if everyone is doing it. EVERYONE is a giver and then EVERYONE is also a receiver. It’s perfect. It’s beautiful!

Elder D. Todd Christofferson has taught, “A major reason the Lord has a church is to create a community of Saints that will sustain one another in the ‘strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life.’” He goes on to say, “This religion is not concerned only with self; rather, we are all called to serve. We are the eyes, hands, head, feet, and other members of the body of Christ.”5Does your ward feel like a community? How do we build trust in a ward so that we feel safe to share our weakness and struggle? Do we serve in our callings for recognition or out of love for others? Do we see ourselves as members of the ‘body of Christ’?

It is true that we attend our weekly Church meetings to participate in ordinances, learn doctrine, and be inspired, but another very important reason for attending is that, as a ward family and as disciples of the Savior Jesus Christ, we watch out for one another, encourage one another, and find ways to serve and strengthen each other. We are not just receivers and takers of what is offered at church; we are needed to be givers and suppliers. Young women and young men, next time you are at Mutual, instead of picking up your phone to see what your friends are doing, stop, look around, and ask yourself, “Who needs me today?” You may be the key to reaching out and touching the life of a peer or to giving encouragement to a friend who is quietly struggling. With the block schedule and only a few minutes between classes and a desire to meditate before Sacrament meeting instead of visit, I feel very limited in how much I can reach out, but then I’m remind of Pres. Faust’s quote earlier where he points out that it can be small and simple. Just sitting by someone, putting an arm around them, smiling, acknowledging them, can go a long way. If the Lord is directing me, I can trust that it will matter to someone:)

Ask your Heavenly Father to show you those around you who need your help and to inspire you on how to best serve them. Be open to what He tells you. Don’t get stuck in what YOU think it should look like…Remember that the Savior most often ministered to one person at a time. Truly he ministered ONE BY ONE!

Our grandson Ethan is 17. I was touched this summer when he told me that, inspired by his mother’s example, he prays each day to have an opportunity to serve someone. As we spent time with his family, I observed how Ethan treats his brother and sisters with patience, love, and kindness and is helpful to his parents and looks for ways to reach out to others. I am impressed with how aware he is of the people around him and of his desire to serve them. He is an example to me. Doing as Ethan does—inviting the Lord to help us find ways to serve—will allow the Spirit to open our eyes to see the needs around us, to see the “one” who needs us that day, and to know how to minister to him or her. Prayer is key here for it will be driven by desire. One of my favorite couplets is, “When we want to improve we must move from Unconscious Incompetence to Conscious Incompetence to Conscious Competence to Unconscious Competence” Prayer makes us conscious of what we lack; faith moves us to act even though it feels like it takes effort for awhile (mostly because we are facing our limiting beliefs and we struggle to change them) and then increased faith moves us to a change of heart and mind so it because who we are to minister like the Savior.

In addition to serving your family and your ward members, look for opportunities to serve in your neighborhood and community. I’m really bad at this…While at times we are called upon to help after a major disaster, on a day-to-day basis we are encouraged to look for opportunities in our own areas to lift and help those in need. Notice, you have to ‘look’ I was recently instructed by an Area President, serving in a country which has many temporal challenges, that the best way to help those in need in other parts of the world is to pay a generous fast offering, ü contribute to the Church’s Humanitarian Aid Fund,ü and look for ways to serve those in your own community  ü wherever you live. Just imagine how the world would be blessed if everyone followed this counsel! This is Zion! EVERYONE does it!

Brothers and sisters, and especially the youth, as you strive to become more like the Savior Jesus Christ and live your covenants, DO your covenants you will continue to be blessed with desires to relieve suffering yes, you can be blessed with desire. You won’t do much without desire! and to help those who are less fortunate. Remember that some of the greatest needs may be those right in front of you. You’ll see it if you look up! Begin your service in your own homes and within your own families. These are the relationships that can be eternal. Begin here…not out there. If you’re already ‘out there’…back up and start again…at home. Even if—and maybe especially if—your family situation is less than perfect, you can find ways to serve, lift, and strengthen. Begin where you are, You don’t have to wait until you are ‘more’ or ‘better’ or anything…love them as they are, everyone wants to be loved today…just as they are and prepare for the family you want to have in the future.

Pray for help in recognizing those in your ward families who need love and encouragement. Instead of attending church with the question of “What am I going to get out of this meeting?” ask, “Who needs me today? What do I have to contribute?” The next piece is learning to hear the voice that answers you and trusting that voice and following it in faith, without fear of rejection or judgment. This may be the real reason people don’t reach out. There are talks in this conference that address feelings of non-worth. Read those and study them if this is what’s holding you back.

As you bless your own families and ward members, look for ways to bless those in your local communities. Whether you have time for extensive service or can give only a few hours a month, your efforts will bless lives and will also bless you in ways you cannot begin to imagine. What is better? 60 hours from one person or 1 hour from 60 people? I maintain that it’s the latter. The same amount of service is given, but 60 people’s lives are improved by having served instead of just one. Let’s reach out and encourage our friends to do the same…even if it’s small. “Out of small things…comes that which is great!”

President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”6 If you hear people complaining that God is not answering their prayers, they and each of us only have ourselves to blame for that…May we each recognize the privilege and blessing it is to participate in accomplishing the work of our Heavenly Father as we meet the needs of His children I just read somewhere that since God is all powerful He doesn’t need our help to accomplish His purposes. But His work and glory is to bring about our eternal life; and eternal is God’s name, so eternal life is life with God. We cannot live with God unless we become like God and we become like Him by loving as He loves. We have to do it and we only have each other to practice on. It IS how He accomplishes His work. We MUST serve one another for Him to accomplish His purpose. He DOES need our help because He will not violate agency. is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

REFERENCES

1.           Luke 9:24.

2.           Thomas S. Monson, “What Have I Done for Someone Today?” Ensign or Liahona, Nov.                      2009, 85.

3.           Linda K. Burton, “I Was a Stranger,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2016, 15.

4.           James E. Faust, “Womanhood: The Highest Place of Honor,” Ensign, May 2000,                                  96;Liahona, July 2000, 117.

5.           D. Todd Christofferson, “Why the Church,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2015, 108, 109.

6.           Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball (2006), 82.

WHAT I HEARD:

• ·       Look for opportunities to serve right where I am: home, church, community
• ·       Continue to give generously to help with the suffering in the world, beyond my reach

WHAT I WILL DO:

• ·       Pray to know who and how I can serve each day
• ·       Pray to know who needs me to serve them at church
• ·       Pray about and look for an opportunity to serve in the community
• ·       Try to connect in person instead of always using text messaging
• ·       Try to give “something” when I hear of needs around the world, even if it is small.