(black text is the original talk;
all yellow highlights are things I am commenting on;
All blue text are my thoughts and are my opinions only and do not represent the official position of the speaker or the church.)
The Moral Force of Women
Your intuition is to do good and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow.
From
age immemorial, societies have relied on the moral force of women.
Why, then, do we seek to change what has always worked? While certainly not the only positive influence at work in society, a quick disclaimer before he spends his whole talk on women, lest someone makes that mean something different the
moral foundation provided by women has proved uniquely beneficial to the
common good. What moms do...only moms can do. What happens in the home affects everyone. Perhaps, because it is pervasive, so common everywhere this contribution of
women is often underappreciated. a common cause of ingratitude for anything we enjoy regularly I wish to express gratitude
say it; show it for the influence of good women, identify some of the philosophies and
trends that threaten women’s strength and standing, if we don't label it, we might not see it and protect/defend against it and voice a plea to
women to cultivate the innate moral power within them. "Improve by education or training" the moral power you were born with.
Women
bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that
makes them adept "skilled" at instilling "putting in drop by drop" such qualities as faith, courage,
empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures. These can be developed elsewhere, but with greater effort that might be less effective When praising
the “unfeigned faith” "genuine faith" he found in Timothy, Paul noted that this faith
“dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice.”1 "first"... suggesting they had planted his own seed of faith. Reminds me of the statement of the Stripling Warriors "
Yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.(ref)
Years
ago, while living in Mexico, I observed firsthand what Paul meant. I
recall a particular young mother, one of many among the women of the
Church in Mexico whose faith in God graces their lives so naturally that
they seem scarcely aware of it.You need to humbly recognize the innate gift you have and not take it for granted yourself. This lovely woman radiated a moral
authority, when you have it, others can "see" it born of goodness, that influenced all around her for good.I think he's saying the moral authority was a fruit of her goodness
With her husband, she sacrificed a number of pleasures and possessions
for their higher priorities, this takes some of the perceived "oppression" out of a mother's sacrifice if dad is making it with her seemingly without a second thought. It's not as "hard" as some may think it is as they look at it from the outside. The willingness to sacrifice seems to come with the birth of a baby. Though, this is what Paul referred to when he said there would be those, in the last days "without natural affection"....moms who reject the "natural affection" a mother has for her baby either through abortion or neglect. Her
ability to perform feats of lifting, bending, and balancing with her
children was near superhuman. The demands on her were many and her tasks
often repetitive and mundane, yet underneath it all was a beautiful
serenity, a sense of being about God’s work. As with the Savior, she was
ennobled "to elevate in degree, excellence, or respect: by blessing others through service and sacrifice. like the Savior She was love
personified. If you focus on the lifting, bending, balancing, demands, repetitive and mundane tasks, service and sacrifice, without the proper perspective then motherhood loses its purpose, place and joy. But all that is elevated when it becomes part of "God's work and glory". This vision brings with it peace and calm confidence.
I
have been remarkably blessed by the moral influence of women, in
particular my mother and my wife. That's where you feel its effects first. Among other women that I look to in
gratitude is Anna Daines. Anna and her husband, Henry, and their four
children were among the pioneers of the Church in New Jersey, in the
United States. Beginning in the 1930s, when Henry was a doctoral student
at Rutgers University, he and Anna worked tirelessly with school and
civic organizations in Metuchen, where they lived, to overcome deeply
rooted prejudice against Mormons and to make the community a better
place Notice Anna was a mom and still found a way to have a positive impact on her community for all parents to raise their children.
Anna,
for example,
volunteered at the Metuchen YMCA and
made herself
indispensable. Within a year she was appointed
president of the Mothers’
Auxiliary and then “was asked to run for one of the three women’s
positions on the YMCA
board of directors. She
won without opposition,
and so
joined the very council that only a few years before had refused
to let the Saints meet in their building!”
2
My family
moved into the New Brunswick Ward when I was a teenager. Sister Daines
took notice of me and often expressed her confidence in my abilities and
potential, which inspired me to reach high—higher than I would have
without her encouragement. Once, because of a thoughtful and timely
warning She was not afraid to assert her moral authority for good from her, I avoided a situation that would surely have led to
regret. Although she is no longer here, Anna Daines’s influence
continues to be felt and reflected in the lives of her descendants and
countless others, myself included.
My
grandmother Adena Warnick Swenson taught me to be conscientious in
priesthood service. Grandmas....what kind of influence are you having on your grandchildren. Is it all fun and games or are you making/taking opportunities to share your values too? She encouraged me to memorize the sacramental
blessings on the bread and water, explaining that in this way I could
express them with greater understanding and feeling. This is one of those things that no boy feels obligated to do...but they should understand that if they are willing to do so, they can have a great influence on the worship of their ward members. Observing your grandkids are watching you how she
sustained my grandfather, a stake patriarch, engendered in me a
reverence for sacred things. would love more examples...Grandma Swenson never learned how to drive a
car, but she knew how to help boys become priesthood men. moms...you can have an influence in this area along with you husband and priesthood leaders.
A
woman’s moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more
beneficially employed than in the home. He seems to use this wording to emphasize that you can be employed outside the home, but nothing you contribute there will be as beneficial than the contributions you make at home...no matter how much they pay you or how important you are to the company. There is no better setting for
rearing the rising generation than the traditional family, where a
father and a mother work in harmony to provide for, teach, and nurture
their children. Where this ideal does not exist, people strive to
duplicate its benefits as best they can in their particular
circumstances. I have always maintained that in the church, we teach the ideal. We understand that not all may have or choose it. But we still teach it. He makes no apology for making this claim. Surely there will be some that struggle with this statement. Notice, that he assumes if you agree with this, and you don't have it, that you try to duplicate its benefits. No dad? Then you try to give your kids another positive male role model. (same if no mom). You don't reject it; you don't avoid it; you don't try to convince anyone that what you have is the "same" as the ideal. Remember, even homes with a mother and father present are not always "ideal" either. If you don't have "harmony" or you don't teach or nurture your children, your home isn't "ideal". It's not about condemning anything less than the ideal but about holding out the promises and blessings to those who are willing to strive to achieve/create it.
In
all events, does that leave anything out? a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other
person in any other relationship. Since he said "mother" he seems to be talking about children and any other relationship they may have. By the power of her example and
teaching, It takes both...example and teaching (which is often loving correction) her sons learn to respect womanhood and to incorporate
discipline and high moral standards in their own lives.
Her daughters
learn to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right,
again and again, however unpopular. She's not going to learn this if she doesn't see mom or grandma doing it... A mother’s love and high
expectations Don't be afraid to have them lead her children to act responsibly without excuses, to be
serious about education and personal development, and to make ongoing
contributions to the well-being of all around them. Moms...you can do things outside of your home too...Elder Neal A.
Maxwell once asked: “When the real history of mankind is fully
disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of
lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking
of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles
and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in
congresses?”3 Can't wait to read that version of history...we know it's being written, for "angels in heaven are silent notes taking..."
Most sacred is a woman’s role in the creation of life. We know that our physical bodies have a divine origin4
and that we must experience both a physical birth and a spiritual
rebirth to reach the highest realms in God’s celestial kingdom.5 Thus, women play an integral part (sometimes at the risk of their own lives) in God’s work and glory “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”6
Carol Lynn Pearson wrote a poem that echos this thought...the last line is, "a double miracle dawned this morning...a baby breathed; and too, the God in me was born." As grandmothers, mothers, and role models, you are at least one of these...women have been the
guardians of the wellspring of life, teaching each generation the
importance of sexual purity—of chastity before marriage and fidelity
within marriage. In this way, they have been a civilizing influence in
society; they have brought out the best in men; they have perpetuated
wholesome environments in which to raise secure and healthy children. Some people have suggested that men would never marry and settle down and care for a family if it weren't for this moral authority of women. Certainly a very broad generalization, but with historical merit, I believe.
Sisters,
I don’t want to overpraise you as we sometimes do in Mother’s Day talks
that make you cringe. You don’t have to be perfect;7 (footnote: Love, not perfection, is the root of good mothering). I don’t claim that you are (with one possible exception who is sitting
nearby at the moment).nice move, Elder C. nice move. What I mean to say is that whether you are single
or married, whether you have borne children or not, whether you are
old, young, or in between, your moral authority is vital, all women have influence because they are women. period. and perhaps we
have begun to take it and you for granted. Certainly there are trends
and forces at work that would weaken and even eliminate your influence,
to the great detriment of individuals, families, and society at large.
Trends can come and go with tides of opinion, but "forces at work" are ever present and cannot be ignored Let me mention three as a caution and a warning. he's telling us to be aware of it and be careful to avoid it; but also warning what might happen if these "forces" are successful.
A
pernicious "harmful; destructive; evil"philosophy that undermines "dig away at the foundation of " women’s moral influence is the
devaluation of marriage and of motherhood and homemaking as a career.
Some view homemaking with outright contempt, "to despise; consider worthless" arguing it demeans "lowers; degrades" women
and that the relentless demands of raising children are a form of
exploitation.8
i.e."children are taking advantage of mothers for their own gain"They ridicule what they call “the mommy track” as a career. (say it with a patronizing tone...)This is not
fair or right. We do not diminish the value of what women or men
achieve in any worthy endeavor or career—we all benefit from those
achievements—but we still recognize there is not a higher good than
motherhood and fatherhood in marriage. I love that he doesn't make this a gender thing. It applies to men and women equally. "no success can compensate for failure in the home". There is no superior career, and
no amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate
rewards of family. Whatever else a woman may accomplish, her moral
influence is no more optimally employed than here. If you got "paid" in dollars what your influence would be worth in the marketplace, you would be beyond rich!! Don't think a daycare or babysitter is even close to a substitute for a good mom.
Attitudes toward human sexuality threaten the moral authority of women on several fronts. Abortion
for personal or social convenience strikes at the heart of a woman’s
most sacred powers and destroys her moral authority. For she should be the very person that defends her unborn child. The same is true of
sexual immorality and of revealing dress that not only debases women
but reinforces the lie that a woman’s sexuality is what defines her
worth. The whole "gender" debate is centered on this lie...that your sexual attraction defines "who" you are. Lies.
There
has long been a cultural double standard that expected women to be
sexually circumspect "careful; guarded"while excusing male immorality. The unfairness of
such a double standard is obvious, and it has been justifiably
criticized and rejected. In that rejection, one would have hoped that
men would rise to the higher, single standard, but just the opposite has
occurred—women and girls are now encouraged to be as promiscuous as the
double standard expected men to be. The Church is one of the few places that holds men and women both, to the same high standard.
Where once women’s higher standards
demanded commitment and responsibility from men, we now have sexual
relations without conscience, fatherless families, and growing poverty.
In exchange for what....Equal-opportunity promiscuity simply robs women of their moral influence
and degrades all of society.9 Don't think that what happens in the privacy of your own walls has no effect on anyone else. Lies. yes, you are free to choose it, but don't think it doesn't have its price. In this hollow bargain, it is men who are “liberated” and women and children who suffer most. Sorry girls, but it because of this innate virtue that is in your soul. When you sacrifice it, your soul weeps with a deepest sense of "knowing".
A
third area of concern comes from those who, in the name of equality,
want to erase all differences between the masculine and the feminine.
Often this takes the form of pushing women to adopt more masculine
traits—be more aggressive, tough, and confrontational. It is now common
in movies and video games to see women in terribly violent roles,
leaving dead bodies and mayhem in their wake. It is soul-numbing to see
men in such roles This is a "caution and a warning".. Whether you believe it or not, when you watch/play such things it numbs your soul. Moms; grandmas; girlfriends; wives; assert you moral authority and forbid such things! and certainly no less so when women are the ones
perpetrating and suffering the violence. sick.
Former
Young Women general president Margaret D. Nadauld taught: “The world
has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are
enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are
enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough
women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough
greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more
virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”10
In blurring feminine and masculine differences, we lose the distinct,
complementary gifts of women and men that together produce a greater
whole. Let's "complete" each other, not "compete" with each other...
My
plea to women and girls today is to protect and cultivate the moral
force that is within you. Preserve that innate virtue and the unique
gifts you bring with you into the world. Your intuition "instinctive knowledge" is to do good
and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority
and influence will grow. Just had the thought, that if your intuition is to do and be good and the Holy Spirit would prompt you to do and be good, you may not know when it is "you" or the Spirit...but at that point...does it really matter? Isn't it the same thing? Isn't that the goal? To the young women I say, don’t lose that moral
force even before you have it in full measure.
Take particular care
that your language is clean, not coarse;watch your mouth. It is no small thing... that your dress reflects
modesty, not vanity; seek to cover, not reveal or impress and that your conduct manifests purity, not
promiscuity. You cannot lift others to virtue on the one hand if you are
entertaining vice on the other. Meaning, you have such powers of influence, that the time you spend in "vice" you are missing opportunities and power to lift and influence others for good. You're going to influence either way.
Sisters,
of all your associations, all...it is your relationship with God, your
Heavenly Father, who is the source of your moral power, that you must
always put first in your life. Got that? God FIRST. Always. ALL other relationships second. Remember that Jesus’s power came through
His single-minded devotion "with one aim or purpose" to the will of the Father. to do His will. He never varied
from that which pleased His Father.11 Strive to be that kind of disciple of the Father and the Son, and your influence will never fade.
And
do not be afraid to apply that influence without fear or apology. Think of examples where you might be afraid or embarrassed or apologetic...“Be
ready always to give an answer to every [man, woman, and child] that
asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.”12 This "hope" should be outwardly evident to the point where people would ask you about it “Preach the word; be instant"urgent; earnest" in season,those opportunities we take that are before us... out of season; those opportunities we make reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.”13
“Bring up your children in light and truth.”14 “Teach [them] to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”15 All these scriptures are giving you permission to be "you".
In
these exhortations to women, let no one willfully "unreasonably; intentionally" misunderstand. By
praising and encouraging the moral force in women, I am not saying that
men and boys are somehow excused from their own duty to stand for truth
and righteousness, that their responsibility to serve, sacrifice, and
minister is somehow less than that of women or can be left to women. People (men) who think this don't really believe it; they are just looking for an excuse...
Brethren, let us stand with women, share their burdens, and cultivate
our own companion moral authority. Sounds like another conference talk is coming, or at least a priesthood talk...
Dear
sisters, we rely on the moral force you bring to the world, we need you! to
marriage, to family, to the Church. We rely on blessings you bring down
from heaven by your prayers and faith. We need those blessings that only you seem to know how to access! We pray for your security,
welfare, and happiness and for your influence to be sustained. Because it affects our own/everyone's security, welfare and happiness. In the
name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Notes
1. 2 Timothy 1:5.
2. Orson Scott Card, “Neighborliness: Daines Style,”
Ensign, Apr. 1977, 19.
3. Neal A. Maxwell, “The Women of God,”
Ensign, May 1978, 10–11.
4. See
Moses 2:27.
5. See
Moses 6:57–60.
6. Moses 1:39.
7. “A
century ago, attachment scholar John Bowlby found that
the bond created
through the innumerable caring interactions between a mother and child
is the critical foundation for social-emotional development. … And
feminist scholar Sara Ruddick identified
a mother’s ‘attentive love’ as
the core of effective parenting. Through the ‘patient eye of love,’
mothers develop a special knowledge of their children—a knowledge that
gives them unique insight into what the truly ‘best practices’ for each
child should be” (Jenet Jacob Erickson,
“Love, Not Perfection, Root of
Good Mothering,” Deseret News, May 12, 2013, G3).
8. It
is true that many women over many generations have been exploited or
saddled with unfair burdens both in family and employment, but
selflessness and sacrifice need not and should not become abusive or
exploitative. Elder Bruce C. Hafen observed: “If being ‘selfless’ means a
woman must give up her own inner identity and personal growth, that
understanding of selflessness is wrong. … But today’s liberationist
model goes too far the other way, stereotyping women as excessively independent of their families. A more sensible view is that husbands and wives are interdependent
with each other. … The critics who moved mothers from dependence to
independence skipped the fertile middle ground of interdependence. Those
who moved mothers from selflessness to selfishness skipped the fertile
middle ground of self-chosen service that contributes toward a woman’s
personal growth. Because of these excesses, debates about the value of
motherhood have, ironically, caused the general society to discount not
only mothers but women in general” (“Motherhood and the Moral Influence
of Women” [remarks to the World Congress of Families II, Geneva, Plenary
Session IV, Nov. 16, 1999],
http://worldcongress.org/wcf2_spkrs/wcf2_hafen.htm).
9. One mother in a Wall Street Journal
editorial observed: “With the exception of some Mormons, evangelicals
and Orthodox Jews, scads of us don’t know how to teach our own sons and
daughters not to give away their bodies so readily. … Still, in my own
circle of girlfriends, the desire to push back is strong. I don’t know
one of them who doesn’t have feelings of lingering discomfort regarding
her own sexual past. And not one woman I’ve ever asked about the subject
has said that she wishes she’d ‘experimented’ more” (Jennifer Moses,
“Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That?” Wall Street Journal, Mar. 19, 2011, C3).
IMPERATIVES
To Women:
- Protect, preserve and cultivate the moral
force that is within you
- Recognize and use your divine gifts of
- unfeigned faith,
- courage,
- empathy, and
- refinement and instill these in your relationships and your community:
- Radiate your moral
authority, born of goodness, to influence all around you for good
- Be willing to sacrifice some pleasures and possessions for higher priorities if needed (w/spouse if married)
- Underneath all you do, have a beautiful serenity; a sense of being about God's work
- Bless others through service and sacrifice
- Become love personified
- Sustain the priesthood
- Engender in others a reverence for sacred things
- Exercise your moral influence first in your home
- If possible, create a traditional family
- work in harmony with your spouse to provide for, teach and nurture
- If a traditional family does not exist; strive to duplicate its benefits as best you can in your particular circumstances
- By your example and teaching,
- instruct your sons to respect womanhood and incorporate discipline and high moral standards into their lives
- help your daughters to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right, again and again, however unpopular
- help your children
- to act responsibly without excuses,
- to be
serious about education and personal development, and
- to make ongoing
contributions to the well-being of all around them.
- Grandmothers, mothers and role models; teach each generation the importance of sexual purity; chastity before marriage; fidelity within marriage
- You don't have to be perfect
- Develop and preserve your distinct, complementary gifts:
- Demand commitment and responsibility from men
- be tender, not tough
- be kind, not coarse
- be refined, not rude
- be a woman of faith, not fame and fortune
- be good, not greedy
- be virtuous, not vain
- be pure, not popular
- keep your language clean, not coarse
- dress modestly, not vainly
- act with purity, not promiscuity
- lift others to virtue
- Always put your relationship with God first in your life
- Bring down
blessings from heaven by your prayers and faith. Others rely on this.
- Strive to be a single-minded disciple; never varying from what would please the Father and the Son
- Do not be afraid to apply your influence without fear or apology.
- “Be
ready always to give an answer to every [man, woman, and child] that
asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.”12
- “Preach the word;
- be instant (urgent, earnest) in season, out of season;
- reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine.”13
- “Bring up your children in light and truth.”14
- “Teach [them] to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”15
Men and boys:
- you have a duty and responsibility to:
- stand for truth
and righteousness,
- serve,
- sacrifice, and
- minister
- stand with women,
- share their burdens, and
- cultivate
your own companion moral authority.
- Memorize the sacramental blessings to express them with greater understanding and feeling
- Do not take the vital moral authority of all women for granted; express gratitude for the influence of good women
DOCTRINAL INSIGHT
- From
age immemorial, societies have relied on the uniquely positive influence and moral force that women bring to marriage, to family, to the Church and the world
- A
woman’s moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more
beneficially employed than in the home
- There is no better setting for
rearing the rising generation than the traditional family, where a
father and a mother work in harmony to provide for, teach, and nurture
their children.
- Where this ideal does not exist, people strive to
duplicate its benefits as best they can in their particular
circumstances.
- In
all events, a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other
person in any other relationship
- Most sacred is a woman’s role in the creation of life
- Our physical bodies have a divine origin
- We must experience both a physical birth and a spiritual
rebirth to reach the highest realms in God’s celestial kingdom.
- Women play an integral part (sometimes at the risk of their own lives) in God’s work and glory “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”
- Sexual purity:
- civilizes society
- brings out the best in men
- perpetuates wholesome environments to raise secure and healthy children
- There is not a higher good than
motherhood and fatherhood in marriage
- There is no superior career, and
no amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate
rewards of family
- Jesus’s power came through
His single-minded devotion to the will of the Father
- “If being ‘selfless’ means a
woman must give up her own inner identity and personal growth, that
understanding of selflessness is wrong...Husbands and wives are interdependent
with each other. … where self-chosen service contributes toward a woman’s
personal growth"
PROMISES
- You are ennobled by blessing others through service and sacrifice. You become love personified.
- Your influence will be felt and reflected in the lives of your descendants and
countless others
- As you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow
- If you strive to be the kind of disciple that is single-minded in your devotion; never varying from what will please God - your influence will never fade.
WARNINGS
- philosophies and trends that threaten women's strength and standing:
- devaluation of marriage
- devaluation of motherhood
- devaluation of homemaking as a career
- attitudes toward human sexuality
- Abortion for personal or social convenience
- sexual immorality; encouraged to be promiscuous, without conscience
- revealing dress
- lie that a woman’s sexuality is what defines her
worth
- Erase all differences between the masculine and the feminine by pushing women to
- be more aggressive,
- tough, and
- confrontational
- We
have begun to take the vital moral authority of all women for granted
- There are trends
and forces at work that would weaken and even eliminate your influence,
to the great detriment of individuals, families, and society at large; bringing fatherless families and growing poverty. In this,women and children suffer most.
- Watching movies or video games where men or women are in terribly violent roles is soul-numbing. Do not entertain vice.
- Young women: don't lose your moral force before you have it in full measure.
